Complete Control

I instructed “it” to write me an essay about our recent 24 hour session. Here are some of my favorite passages…

“I found myself in heavy steel restraints all connected by heavy chain.  Put on the small stool...connecting chain was locked to the platform...wrists locked up to the collar and down to the floor hardpoint so standing was impossible and my head was held down, and then the thumbcuffs. Steel. Unyieding. Heavy.  Cold. Objectifying.  And then you took my vision.” 

“Into the canvas body sack...edging...edging...and for the first time, you probed my mouth with your fingers. You can do whatever you like with its body - restrain it, display it, penetrate it, hurt it, give it pleasure...obviously including putting whatever you choose - your fingers, an implement, panties, a gag or food or drink - into its mouth.  Whether it is rigidly restrained, at "1" at your feet, or riding in an elevator, invasion by your fingers are a powerful expression of ownership, control and power. It can also, if you choose, be a gift. “

“To the sales woman: "I'm looking for a plug for him that I'm going to make him wear for a long time". As I stood by silently, you and she discussed alternatives.  As we browsed you made me carry the ones you'd brought, openly presented in my hands...and then put me at "1" (and for a while at "2") at the checkout counter.  The sales woman looked at it on its knees, still holding up the plugs you'd brought. Another customer stared. Again, humiliating.”

“You replaced the steel ball cuff with the cage with the blades...downstairs for a very pleasant dinner...except for the constant burning from the cage's ring (surprisingly, not the blades).”

“Rigged with the TENS pads, to the lobby and as I tried to deal with my work email, from far across the room you persistently reminded me of who I was with.”  

“What I reluctantly confess has become enjoyable is the fact that you decide - if and when and where and with who else present - it will happen and that you impose and control everything - how I'm restrained, if/how I'm displayed, being penetrated, stretched, and filled.   Humbling?  Yes.  Humiliating? Yes.  Degrading?  Yes, particularly with guests present.  An expression of your control?  Absolutely yes.  "its" job is to simply submit and obey.  Limits pushed, Mistress. Tied widely spread-eagled on the bed, the steel ball cuff and leash was added to the TENS gear, plus earphones, hood and blindfold. Edging and shocks, edging and shocks and then pressure on the leash that turned into distinct, painful tugs.”

“You turned down the music and made it explain, again incoherently, why it was there, what it was being punished for.  Blindfold off again for even fewer seconds and told to thank (and keep thanking) your girlfriend for jerking the leash. Blindfold back on.  Music back up.” 

“I felt the lock click closed on the Kali...knew the vibrator would be coming... both wanted it and feared it, knowing what it meant...that no matter how I tried to control myself, you alone would decide when I'd get alone would decide when the real suffering would begin...and depending on how you chose to simply move your hand, you alone would decide when the bite would go deeper and deeper until it was intolerable. It was excruciating and confusing and sexually staggering and totally outside my control and - wonderfully - totally in your control. The term sensory overload was coined to describe what you were making me feel.  I remember jerking violently against the ropes keeping me widespread, totally exposed and totally vulnerable.  Utter desperation doesn't fully describe what I felt. “